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From Hertford's Number 1 mummy blogger (in google search results- last updated 24/9/21) and Tots100 chart featured parenting blogger and one of the leading mummy bloggers in Hertfordshire (Rank 3 in Google searches 24/9/21) and rank 4 in google searches for "Hertfordshire bloggers" (11/21). #kayleigh&theboys



"Is Santa real Mum?" Having the Santa chat with your children .


As we walked around Tescos on a hot august day, having just returned from camping at a theme park, Christmas was the furthest thing in my mind. So imagine my surprise when my 10 year old, seizing the opportunity of it being just the two of us asking "Mum i'm 10 now, I've been thinking about this for a long time, Is Santa really real? You can tell me , it's ok".

This experience is shared with full permission of my son (I wouldn't normally disclose the private contents of our conversations but he was quite happy for me to share if it helps other parents.)

I don't think I ever had the "Santa chat" with my parents, I definitely knew that the concept of Santa as we knew it wasn't real by about 10 though. I played along for many many years though, for their benefit, in fact I think I was still putting cookies out for Santa into my mid teens haha! Had i have directly asked my parents I don't know what they would have said.

Of course there is no right or wrong answer here , some will never have the Santa chat at all and of course that's totally fine too. For me personally I had always had it in my head that around this age if he asked me directly I would not lie to him, but likewise I wanted to handle the matter sensitively , I didn't want the magic to just be over.

For years I would scroll various mum groups and social media pages and save any good ideas for how other parents had dealt with this, having said that I was still totally caught off guard that sunny august day in Tescos.

I smiled at him and told him how grown up he was getting, I then paused and said , "lets have this conversation in the car", I was keen not for little ears to over hear. As I finished my shopping I felt a wave of emotions, images in my mind of our first Santa visit, being a blogger we have seen Santa is a whole host of places , Willows Activity Farm, Aldenham Country Park, Hertford Museum, Olivia Rocco Photography, The Polar Express Experience, Lapland UK and more... so many happy memories and ill admit the emotion did get the better of me a little.

I pulled myself together and once we were back in the car took a deep breath.

I started by telling him a brief story of St Nicolas and where Santa Claus originated from that he was believed to be a real man. I spoke about the magic of Christmas and how it makes us all feel.

"But is he real mum?"

I explained that if he was asking me if the magic of Christmas was real , the feeling that we get when we see the glowing lights or hear Christmas songs for the first time that year, the glow we feel when we make someone happy or buy them a gift then yes the magic of Christmas was very much real, but if he was asking me if there really was a man in a red suit flying around delivering presents to all the boys and girls then the answer was no. Santa wasn't one person Santa was lots of people. Santa was a mum or a dad staying up late to put out the presents and nibble the carrot , Santa was a grandparent preparing Santa sacks for their grandchildren and so on, Santa was love.

"So all this time that was all you and Dad? You did all those things?" I smiled and nodded, "At Christmas time lots of people make the magic happen in lots of different ways for those they love and I'll tell you a little secret when I was little I used to think being a child at Christmas was the most magical thing, but it turns out making the magic happen actually IS the most magical thing!"

" And now you are old enough to know the truth too, now you get to become a part of the magic" . His face lit up ,"how?"

"Well Oliver is only 5 he's too little to understand right now and I know that me and daddy could definitely need some help making the magic this year" I responded.

He immediately puffed out his chest ,excited by the prospect. "Thanks for telling me the truth Mum" he said.

At that time I wasn't sure how this would really pan out, it caught me off guard but I was hoping that rather than being deflated by the news and the sparkle of Christmas being somewhat dimmed that it would actually be a really nice milestone for him. He's desperate to feel grown up, I had acknowledged that he was indeed growing up and trusted him with the truth, but i'd also tried to put a spin on it. Santa wasn't really the magic, we were the magic and now he got to help us make the magic too!

Since August Jacob has really adopted this role as "Santas Helper", he's helped me chose presents for his brother (turns out sometimes Oliver mentions things to him that he doesn't to us" ) and giggled when I told him he could stay up late Christmas eve and eat Santa's cookies (although he did turn his nose up when I told him he'd have the nibble the cookie too!" ), he's still coming along on this year's Santa visit and actually he is more enthusiastic about it this year than he has been the last few years, because he knows now! Rather than feeling lied to, he's been let in on the magic and hes determined to make it magical for his brother. Sometimes I catch him saying things like "Are you going to do your Santa letter soon Oliver?" to his brother and if he catches my eye he gives me a cheeky wink.

We are determined to make this year extra special for him, he can help us make the footprints in icing sugar we do each Christmas eve, he can fill his brothers stocking, he can enjoy some extra time with Mum and Dad whilst his brother goes to sleep and I plan to get him an extra gift to give him on Chrismas eve as a thank you for his help as "a Santa" and he can know that that warm fuzzy feeling that he feels at Christmas was never really a man in a red suit flying around with a red nosed Reindeer, instead it was always us, a family who love him so very much.

I was so worried that finding out that Santa wasn't real might be the end of the magic for him, turns out it was just the start of something more magical.

To my darling little (but big!) Mini Santa, I am so proud of you, every day of being your Mum is magical!

Thanks for reading



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