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Carry on Camping – be careful that Karma’s not packed in the cool box!


I’m currently sitting in the doctor’s waiting room. The receptionist has just put on what she described as “calming music”. The 80s sax playing could possibly finish me off. I came here to avoid awful noises, (aka the children) and get some peace & quiet for 20 minutes during the holidays. I really hope they’re running 40 minutes late like they were last week when I bought my 6 year old along with the screaming, tantruming, throwing-himself-around-the-room, rolling, crying 2 year old annoying all the very patient patients. He was actually my hope that we’d get sent in on time so as not to raise everyone’s blood pressure. But, now today, I’m going to have to find a way to subtly break this terrible CD which is across the other side of the room. Where’s the toddler when you need him?

Anyway, my blog was actually going to be about…I can barely bring myself to say it…deep breath…camping.

Oh, I’ve just been called in (10 minutes?? That’s not fair – might have to go to the local shop afterwards to waste more time and just stare aimlessly at the fruit and veg…)

We went camping at the weekend. I can hear every woman who has ever been subjected to this experience shouting, “What? It was the 1st of April – it’s freezing!” Well, where were you lot when I needed you? Why didn’t you tell me that the UK is just one big freezer at night? I’ve had plenty of helpful advice about ski jackets and duvets and bobble hats since we’ve returned but no-one thought to mention it BEFOREHAND! I think it was Karma getting her own back for my April Fool’s prank on my husband earlier on in the day…

At 11.50am whilst we were heading to the campsite I realised that we only had 10 minutes left before we had to wait another year to play a joke on each other or we’d turn into a pumpkin or something else superstitiously ridiculous. Anyway, the last time we’d April Fooled my husband was a few years ago when I’d drawn red dots on one of the boys, put him to bed and pretended he had chicken pox as my husband returned from work– only to try and scrub them off in the bath later and realise he DID actually have the pox and the joke was on me. I’ve avoided teasing Karma for the past few years. However, this year I’d set myself up nicely during the week leading up to it as I’d had a weird (real) tummy bug with no other symptoms except constant nausea. That, and being utterly exhausted by the end of term, I told my husband (whilst he was driving with all 4 children in the back – didn’t quite think this through) that I’d done a “test” this morning.

His face fell.

“Good news or bad news?”

“It depends what you’d call good news?”

His face fell further and he started to lose focus on the road. Damn it I really wanted to play this one out for longer but should probably consider the consequences if the car leaves the road…

“April Fool’s!” Dear God please don’t have a heart attack or swerve…

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